PARENTHOOD
a divine stewardship

On Exercising Headship in the Family

In this issue of Parenthood, we continue with the third article in our series relating to the impact which the marriage relationship has upon child rearing. The relationship between the father and mother is the single most influential factor in the growth of their children. In that relationship, the husband must accept the responsibility of being the head of his wife and of his household, and the wife must do her best to support her husband in carrying out his responsibility.

Brother Watchman Nee writes of the husbands, "God wants them to bear the responsibility of their house. We must not only be a good Christian, but must also be a good head. Those who do not have a family should first have the qualifications for being the head. Otherwise, they are not qualified to be a husband. Every father and husband must know how to deal with his own family. Once the male becomes loose in a family, the female will assume the headship. Our nation has a president and a vice-president. If the president does not do a proper job, the vice-president will have to take his place. Hence, husbands and fathers must learn to assume the headship in the family. They cannot be too lazy or allow their wives to seize any opportunity to become the head.

"Every male must learn to be a strong head. They should not be cruel, heartless, or severe. But if God has charged them to be the head, they should be proper heads. It is good for husbands to love their wives. But if they love them so much that they allow them to become the head, they have gone beyond God's boundary...

"... A question that may arise is what a husband should do when the wife does not abide in her place. The real issue is that the husband must assume the headship. If he does not assume the headship, the woman will naturally become the head. A woman becomes the head because the man has given her the ground. Is the ground in your family vacant or occupied?"

May the Lord grant us a clear understanding of His divine economy for the raising up of children under the care of couples who live according to His arrangement and ordination with the proper headship family by family.

The family occupies a special place in the Bible. God's selection has to do with a nation, and eternal life has to do with individuals, but salvation has to do with the household.

The first household mentioned in the Bible is Noah's household. Although Adam had children, the Bible does not mention his household, because after Adam sinned in Genesis 3, he lost his position in his family. God had appointed Adam to be the head of his family, yet he lost his headship, and the first family was damaged. The brothers are the head of their households. It is not enough to be a husband and father; he has to be the head. In Genesis 3 Adam lost his place as a husband and a head. If there was a family there at all, it was Eve and her family, because Eve became the head there. Of course, this was not according to God's arrangement.

Then God mentioned Noah's household. Those in his household were not particularly better than Adam….The question is not whether Noah's sons were good. The question is where Noah stood. With respect to the flood, God only dealt with Noah; He did not mention his wife, sons, or daughters-in-law. Noah represented his whole family. God said that Noah was just and perfect (Genesis 6:9) because he was able to assume the headship. When he was saved, his whole household was saved….

It is an interesting thing that God divides the world into families. Today man has damaged God's arrangement—the family has been damaged. What is the situation today? Families are filled with rebellion—sons rebel against the father's authority, the wife rebels against the husband's authority, and servants rebel against the master's authority. The family is broken and the oneness is gone. Once the head does not stand firm as the head, the institution of the family is destroyed. In order for a family to please the Lord, the head must stand firm in his position as the head. If a family does not have a head, God can only deal with each individual in the family. Noah's household was the first family that God dealt with as a whole.

(continued on page 2)