Fellowship of the Parents, Serving Ones and Concerned Saints
Regarding the Children and the Young People
Chicago: August
24, 2008
Behold, children are
the heritage of Jehovah, the fruit of the womb a reward (Psalm 127:3).
And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,
but nurture them in
the discipline and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).
1. Our Hope
2. Our Responsibility
There is a basic
principle in the Bible that children are given by Jehovah (Psa. 127:3).
According to the Bible, children are entrusted by God to man. One day
you must render your account of this trust to God (1).
The church cannot
go on if parents do not have a sense of being entrusted. We do not want
to see our children being rescued back from the world. Suppose we beget
children, lose them to the world, and then try to rescue them back.
If we allow this to happen, the gospel will never be preached to the
uttermost part of the earth. Our children have been taught many teachings,
and we have been taking care of them for years. At least these children
should be brought to the Lord. We are wrong if we do not take care of
our children.
We have to realize
how serious this responsibility is. God has placed a person's body,
soul, and spirit, even his whole life and future, into our hands. No
individual influences another individual's future as much as parents.
No one controls a person's future as much as parents. Parents almost
have a say in whether their children will go to hell or to heaven. We
must learn to be good husbands and good wives, but above all we must
learn also to be good parents. I believe that the responsibility of
being a parent is more than that of being a husband or a wife (1).
If we call one
another brothers and sisters in the church life, and yet when we come
to the practical things, we don’t care for each other’s children,
the second generation will think that our brotherhood and sisterhood
is not genuine. To them the brotherhood in the church life will be unreal.
But if someone will take up the burden for the young ones and care for
them as their own children, the brotherhood in the church life will
be a real brotherhood, and both parties will benefit (2).
The children’s
work is a basic work in the churches. The reason is that we have so
many young people, family units, and children. The churches have a lot
of children. The easiest way to have the increase for the church is
to raise up our children properly and bring them to the Lord (3).
3. Our Pattern
To give new believers
and young ones a lot of teaching is not the proper way to take care
of them. The proper way to foster them is to show them a pattern. By
showing them a pattern you water them, supply them, nourish them, and
cherish them (4).
A brother may
be careful to be in spirit with the saints, but not with his children.
Actually, we should be more exercised to be in spirit with our children
than with the brothers and sisters (5).
The Lord Jesus
said, "For their sake I sanctify Myself" (John 17:19). This
does not refer to being holy, but to whether or not one is sanctified.
The Lord Jesus is holy and His nature is holy. But for the sake of the
disciples, He sanctified Himself. . . . Similarly, those who have children
should sanctify themselves for the sake of their children. This means
that we should refrain from doing many things which we could do for
the sake of our children. There are many things which we could say,
but for the sake of the children we do not say them. From the day we
bring our children into our family, we should sanctify ourselves.
If you do not
restrict yourself, you will not be able to restrict your children. The
looseness of those who do not have children, at the most, results in
trouble for themselves. But for those who have children, looseness results
in damage to their children as well as to themselves. Once a Christian
brings a child into the world, he must sanctify himself. Two eyes, sometimes
four, are watching you all the time. They will follow you all your life
(1).
4. Our Trust and Dependence
No matter how
good an example is set by the parents, how the children develop depends
on God's mercy. On the one hand, the parents must keep a high standard,
but on the other hand, they need to trust in the Lord. Day by day we
should tell Him, "Lord, these children are not mine; they are Your
possession placed in my custody for a period of time. Lord, what I am
doing with them is simply fulfilling my responsibility. How they will
turn out, Lord, depends absolutely on Your mercy (6).
Just as there
is a supply for the church life, there is also a supply for the family
life. The supply for the proper family life includes healthy teaching
(Titus 2:1), healthy speech (2:8), and being healthy in faith, in love,
and in endurance (2:2). For the family unit we need the supply of healthy
teaching and healthy speech. The word speech in 2:8 refers to our ordinary
daily conversation, such as conversation at the dinner table. If our
speech is healthy, it will supply us that we may have a proper family
life.
5. Our Needed Virtues
The atmosphere
in the family should be one of love. Some become psychologically abnormal
or withdrawn because they do not have love at home. . . .The way a child
grows up depends on the atmosphere in his family. If a child does not
receive any loving nurturing as he grows up, he will become stubborn,
individualistic, and rebellious. Many people cannot get along with others
in their adult life because they did not experience love in the family
as a child. . . .The family must be filled with an atmosphere of love
and tenderness. There must be genuine love. Children who grow up from
such families will become normal persons (1).
In taking care of our children, what is most important is not knowledge or ability—it is an intimate concern (7).
In his Word
Studies Wuest points out that the Greek word rendered forbearance
not only means satisfied with less than our due, but also means sweet
reasonableness. The word includes self-control, patience, moderation,
kindness, and gentleness. Furthermore, according to Christian experience,
forbearance is all-inclusive, for it includes all Christian virtues
(8).
We need a family
life full of forbearance. Parents should learn to exercise forbearance
in their care and discipline of their children to know why, when, and
how to discipline them. There is a great need of forbearance in our
family life. A good family life is the product of forbearance. If a
husband and wife show forbearance toward each other and toward their
children, they will have an excellent married life and family life.
However, if they do not exercise forbearance, they will seriously damage
their life together as a family. In dealing with their children, parents
should be neither too strict nor too tolerant. Both excessive strictness
and excessive tolerance are damaging to children. Then what is the right
way for parents to care for their children? The right way is the way
which is full of forbearance (9).
6. Our Nurturing Service
It is possible
for parents to be selfish concerning the spiritual welfare of their
children. If their children get saved and become spiritual, they are
very happy. However, these parents may not be happy to see the children
of other families becoming more spiritual than their children. Most
parents in the church hope that their children will become the future
apostles, elders, and deacons. Thus, even in this matter, we are selfish.
I once read of a certain woman who prayed desperately for her child
to be saved. Although she prayed daily for years, still her child was
not saved. One day she inquired of the Lord why He did not answer her
prayers and keep His promise. The Lord told her that He would surely
keep His promise and answer her prayers. However, she was too selfish.
If she would stop praying so much for her child and begin to pray for
the children of others, she would see His faithfulness. From that time
onward, she began to pray for other children to be saved. After a short
while, her child was saved (6).
Since our families
are part of the fallen race, we as parents must exercise God's ordination
to restrict our children by ethical teachings, regulations, and discipline.
For proper human living in your home, you must teach your children to
behave properly by honoring their parents, caring for their brothers
and sisters, respecting their neighbors, and not stealing (10).
The children must
be trained to honor their parents, to love their brothers and sisters,
to behave properly toward their neighbors, to be good students in school,
to obey all laws, and to respect their teachers and other adults. Because
children are too young to behave according to Christ, they must be taught
to behave according to culture (11).
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